Are live in Relationships Better

Live-in relationships are in vogue, albeit not everyone thinks it’s a good idea. 

My uncle and aunt gasped the other day when, for the millionth time, they brought up the topic of my marriage and I said I want to live-in with someone first, gauge the relationship and then think of getting hitched. Not only were they flabbergasted, their eyes ready to pop out, they said, ‘You’re not some celebrity to embark upon such an eccentric idea.’ And adding further, ‘Settle down, like the rest of us. Follow tradition and convention, like the rest of us.’

It’s relatively easy for men to think about this concept, but for women (yes, even in this day and age), it still is a taboo. Their families will most probably disown them even if they so much as mentioned anything resembling a live-in relationship. Well, given that you find such a lady, and given that you do set forth to test your relationship by living-in together, make sure you think about both the pros and cons:

The Good

Split everything 50:50 – rent, electricity, cable, food everything. It can’t get any better than that.

It’s really cool to say you’re living-in with your girlfriend. People consider it hip and progressive.

It is more like two really close friends living together, without the social responsibilities of a marriage.

Relationships eventually boil down to compatibility. If you’re not compatible, it will never work. Live-in relationship gives you an opportunity to find out whether you two will gel together, in case you decide to get married.

The “perceived” claustrophobic feeling one gets when one is wedded is not found in such an arrangement.

It’s only when you live with a person can you know the real him or her. Living-in with your partner allows you to see him or her without any masks or pretence. The real side comes out. And for your sake, hope its good.

If you’re eventually planning to get married, living-in is sort of a dress rehearsal for it. You can gauge each other’s commitment towards having a future together.

You would have sex regularly, which means there will not be any first-night surprises if and when you decide to get hitched.

If you find you’re not cut out for each other, you can amicably separate.

The Bad

Well, you always run a risk of getting bored of each other, but that can happen in a marriage, too.

Live-in relationship is not very different than marriage and will containbickering and arguments, leading to eventual separation.

Since there is no “real” commitment, infidelity rates may be high. Your partner might cheat on you without guilt.

It is socially frowned upon still, at least in India. It will mean losing all your support system, including family and friends, too, possibly.

Social stigma that is attached with a live-in is to be considered too. If your relationship doesn’t work, you might find it hard to get married.

A study says people who live together don’t generally end up marrying each other and even if they do, the divorce rates are higher in such a scenario.

Even if you do get married, people might still say, especially for the girl that she lived with a man before her marriage.

Live-in relationships have both positive and negative sides. Think it through before you jump in. It’s a beautiful thing if it works out, and not so much if it doesn’t. Much like marriage. Decide whether you want to follow conventions, or break them.