There are some things that absolutely every girl needs to know how to do perfectly! If you're looking to bag yourself the style and grace to deal with any situation, look no further than Cosmo's ultimate how to guide... from break-up tips to scoring that big pay rise you've always wanted, we've got everything covered!
It's a sad but true fact that a woman aged 21 has a 1 in 4 chance of experiencing a violent crime in her lifetime.
Experts have proven that it's virtually always better to fight back, particularly if you are trained in a particular form of self-defence, as women who fight back are injured less often, are more successful in stopping the attack and feel better about themselves afterwards.
Check your local area for a self-defence class and sign up. Not only will it keep you in great shape, but it may just save your life someday.
3. How to check for breast cancer
It's a scary fact that 1 in 9 women will get breast cancer at some point in their lives; early diagnosis is vital for good recovery, which is why every woman should check her breasts once a month. It is easiest to check your breasts in the shower or bath. Run a soapy hand over each breast and up under your arm. You are checking for changes to the size, shape or feel of your breast.
The NHS breast awareness five point code says:
1.) Know what is normal for you
2.) Look and feel
3.) Know what changes to look for
4.) Report any changes without delay
5.) Attend breast screening if you are aged 50 or over
4. How to walk away from a bad relationship
Do you feel you're worth more than you're paid? When you’ve had a great performance review, completed a successful project or been praised for your efforts, that’s the best time to ask for more cash. Avoid approaching your boss in busy periods. Instead, arrange for a time to meet that suits both of you.
Name your price, without falling back on an ultimatum, and make sure you justify why you're worth it; compile a summary of your skills, strengths and contributions to any recent projects. It also helps to have an idea of what your role is worth in other companies, so do your research first. If things don't go as planned, don't be disheartened.
Ask for tips on how to improve your performance and ask for a payment review in three to six months. If you handle things coolly and professionally, your boss won’t fail to be impressed!
6. How to ask for what you want in bed
Rachel Morris, Cosmo's resident sexpert, wants you to think about why you aren't getting what you want already.
"Every girl deserves to feel good and you have the right to ask. Remember that he's not a psychic and needs to know what makes you feel good... plus, when you tell him what you want, you'll find that he relaxes and is far more confident, which benefits everyone involved!"
And, for girls who hate having The Big Talk, don't worry. It doesn't have to be a big discussion; all you have to do is give him some pointers next time you're getting hot and heavy.
"Keep everything positive. Steer clear of negative words like "no" or "don't or "stop" and, instead, use positive terms such as "I like it when..." or "harder" or "further". It's amazing what a difference a few small directions can make!"
Now check out Cosmo's tips on How to ask for what you want between the sheets.
7. How to walk in high heels
High heels can throw you off balance and alter your posture. To strut with confidence follow these tips. Most important, don’t look down! Keep your gaze straight ahead and your neck inline with your spine. Keep your shoulders back and down. Stand tall and straight, keeping your chest up to counterbalance the weight shift made by the heels. Engage your abs – core stability is essential for a firm balance and keep a slight bend in your knees. Practise at home and perfect that wiggle! Looking good.
8. How to put up a tent
Is this a pop-up tent? If so it does what it says on the tin, move on. If not, remember every tent is different. Get someone in your camping store to walk you through how to put it up. Clearing a flat, stone-free space to pitch is essential. Practise makes perfect when it comes to tent erection; try putting it up in your garden a few times before you go away. No one wants to be struggling with guide ropes when there are bands to listen to and cider to drink!
9. How to be body confident
How we see ourselves is far more important than how others view us, which is why our self-esteem is one of the best beauty boosters out there!
The simplest way to do this is to work that mirror; look at your body and tell yourself what you like best about it. And, once you've established this, work on making the most of your favourite assets.
Also, make sure that you feel good in your clothes; if there's anything you own which makes you feel self-conscious, it's not worth keeping. Bag yourself something that makes you look and feel 100% foxy!
Before you hit the shops crying out for a new foundation, you need to find out your skin type; is your face oily, dry or a mix of both? If you are acne-prone, go for a product with salicylic acid to zap zits and if your skin is dry, choose a foundation with a moisturising formula.
11. How to put on a condom
Condoms are the most effective way to protect yourself during sex... but only if you know how to put one on! It's pretty simple; open the wrapper, taking care not to rip or damage the condom. Pinch the end (to squeeze the air out) and pop onto the tip of the penis. Make sure you get the condom the correct way round as it only rolls one way.
Firmly slide your fingers down the shaft to unroll the condom all the way to the bottom. Make sure that it’s a snug fit so that no fluid will escape or get in. Yup, that's pretty much it. The different options and flavours are a complete personal preference, so we'll leave that up to you.
12. How to ace a job interview
The easiest piece of advice here is preparation! Read up on the company, prepare your answers, plan some intuitive questions (not "how much will I be paid"?) and lay out your outfit the night before.
Plan to leave so that you'll arrive in the area at least thirty minutes early, just in case of any delays or mishaps along the way. Once inside, stay calm and remember your own worth; sell yourself! You know you'll be good at this job so make sure they know it too.
And, finally, don't panic if you're unable to answer a question. It's okay to say "Sorry, I don't know the answer to that," but demonstrate your confidence and willingness to continue talking by moving onto a different subject. Never make up an answer to something you know nothing about.
13. How to travel light
Shelly Vella, Cosmo’s Fashion Director, recommends that you base your luggage on five key looks, accessorising your capsule wardrobe to make sure that you can wear key colour-coordinated pieces in a variety of ultra-stylish ways.
First of all, buy a clear plastic pouch and travel bottles to decant your beauty products (being able to see through it will stop you adding extras and let you know you have exactly what you need).
Secondly, every girl knows that an outfit works around her shoes; for a beach holiday, build around one pair of flip flops and one pair of something glossier, be it heels or sparkly flats.
For the city breaks, team a sexy pair of heels with tried and trusted flats and a pair of cool boots for dressed down Houlihan chic. Next up, invest in a jewellery roll and style up your looks and then tuck it safely into the clear pouch - it's a far less bulky way to carry jewellery! Minimal chic, sorted.
14. How to apply self-tan
Planning on faking it? The basis of a good self tan is good skin so exfoliate and moisturise your skin, particularly around dry spots such as knees and elbows. Next, apply the self-tan. Tip: Don’t rub it in, as this can cause streaks.
Instead, smooth it on gently then five minutes after application, use damp hands over the tanned areas to blend colour evenly. For a streak-free tan, use a mitten or tanning gloves to apply it and make sure to exfoliate again three days after application, to make sure it fades evenly and, if you want, re-apply to build up your colour!
15. How to be alone
The relationship you want to be the best in your life is the one you have with yourself; no curfews, no rules, no apologies! Work out what makes you happy and make sure you get it. Whether it's taking time out to take the trip you've always wanted, learn a new language or treat yourself to luxurious bubble bath, make sure you have the time to do it. If that means turning down a few party invites, so be it; making yourself unavailable will ultimately push your social worth way up the scale!
16. How to find the best jeans
Time to do the Jean Genie, denim has the power to give you a peachy bum, fill gaps in your wardrobe and take you from day to night - it's just a matter of getting the right shape for you. If you’re struggling with boot-leg v skinny, high-waisted v low slung, our advice is to defer to the experts.
Gap, Dorothy Perkins and Levi’s all have style advisor services in store. Net-a-porter.com and my-wardrobe.com have personal styling services for denim if your budget allows. They will work out the best jeans options for your figure and believe us, once you’ve found your perfect skinnies you’ll never look back!
Keep a little aside for treating yourself and put the rest into a tax-free Cash ISA; that should help curb the temptation to spend! Plus, if possible, try to take out your weekly expenses in cash on a Monday and stick to what you've got; it's all too easy to go over budget when you use your plastic for everything. Seeing the physical cash will help you keep a track of your spending.
19. How not to apologise for everything
Saying sorry when something is your fault is fine. More than fine, actually, it's definitely the way to handle the situation. However, when things aren't your fault, bite down that auto-apology. Firstly, it'll make you feel resentful and irritated. Secondly, it'll devalue the worth of an apology when you actually mean it. Take a look at the situation, assess who's at fault and act accordingly. Don't be volatile; try saying something like "I'm sorry you feel that way", which shows your concern without making you a doormat.
20. How to organise a hen party
If you’re bestowed the honour of being maid of honour the pressure is on to throw the perfect hen. First, don’t feel you have to dedicate a whole week's holiday to hen party frolics - Mediterranean mini-break, spa trip and swanky club... for one bride?
Just choose one and work on making that the best night ever of her single life. Second, plan the guest list early and, if possible, consult with the bride; forgetting somebody vital is not an option.
Third, add some personal touches; we've all seen the stripper and the L Plates before, so what about a scrapbook of relationships past? Or stories told about the happy couple?
1. How to take a compliment
You look absolutely amazing. And yet, like many others, when somebody throws a compliment your way you'll have absolutely no idea what to do with it. Why are you putting yourself down? Don’t deflect the compliment to someone else and don’t point out your weaknesses. The minute you start undermining yourself, others will too. If it helps, try thinking about it as a gift that somebody has put a lot of thought into and accept it in the same gracious manner.
2. How to defend yourselfIt's a sad but true fact that a woman aged 21 has a 1 in 4 chance of experiencing a violent crime in her lifetime.
Experts have proven that it's virtually always better to fight back, particularly if you are trained in a particular form of self-defence, as women who fight back are injured less often, are more successful in stopping the attack and feel better about themselves afterwards.
Check your local area for a self-defence class and sign up. Not only will it keep you in great shape, but it may just save your life someday.
3. How to check for breast cancer
It's a scary fact that 1 in 9 women will get breast cancer at some point in their lives; early diagnosis is vital for good recovery, which is why every woman should check her breasts once a month. It is easiest to check your breasts in the shower or bath. Run a soapy hand over each breast and up under your arm. You are checking for changes to the size, shape or feel of your breast.
The NHS breast awareness five point code says:
1.) Know what is normal for you
2.) Look and feel
3.) Know what changes to look for
4.) Report any changes without delay
5.) Attend breast screening if you are aged 50 or over
4. How to walk away from a bad relationship
There are so many reasons why a relationship can be bad for you. If you feel trapped, undermined, anxious, in danger or just plain unhappy, it's having a negative effect on your life and you need to walk away. Who really wants to spend their life with someone who causes them continual frustration? It's time to break things off, fast, before it becomes too difficult. Surrounding yourself with compassionate, loving friends and family will help you see yourself as a worthwhile, worthy person again, and you'll find it easier to get steady on your feet with your loved ones around you so that you can make your break up process easy.
5. How and when to ask for a pay riseDo you feel you're worth more than you're paid? When you’ve had a great performance review, completed a successful project or been praised for your efforts, that’s the best time to ask for more cash. Avoid approaching your boss in busy periods. Instead, arrange for a time to meet that suits both of you.
Name your price, without falling back on an ultimatum, and make sure you justify why you're worth it; compile a summary of your skills, strengths and contributions to any recent projects. It also helps to have an idea of what your role is worth in other companies, so do your research first. If things don't go as planned, don't be disheartened.
Ask for tips on how to improve your performance and ask for a payment review in three to six months. If you handle things coolly and professionally, your boss won’t fail to be impressed!
6. How to ask for what you want in bed
Rachel Morris, Cosmo's resident sexpert, wants you to think about why you aren't getting what you want already.
"Every girl deserves to feel good and you have the right to ask. Remember that he's not a psychic and needs to know what makes you feel good... plus, when you tell him what you want, you'll find that he relaxes and is far more confident, which benefits everyone involved!"
And, for girls who hate having The Big Talk, don't worry. It doesn't have to be a big discussion; all you have to do is give him some pointers next time you're getting hot and heavy.
"Keep everything positive. Steer clear of negative words like "no" or "don't or "stop" and, instead, use positive terms such as "I like it when..." or "harder" or "further". It's amazing what a difference a few small directions can make!"
Now check out Cosmo's tips on How to ask for what you want between the sheets.
7. How to walk in high heels
High heels can throw you off balance and alter your posture. To strut with confidence follow these tips. Most important, don’t look down! Keep your gaze straight ahead and your neck inline with your spine. Keep your shoulders back and down. Stand tall and straight, keeping your chest up to counterbalance the weight shift made by the heels. Engage your abs – core stability is essential for a firm balance and keep a slight bend in your knees. Practise at home and perfect that wiggle! Looking good.
8. How to put up a tent
Is this a pop-up tent? If so it does what it says on the tin, move on. If not, remember every tent is different. Get someone in your camping store to walk you through how to put it up. Clearing a flat, stone-free space to pitch is essential. Practise makes perfect when it comes to tent erection; try putting it up in your garden a few times before you go away. No one wants to be struggling with guide ropes when there are bands to listen to and cider to drink!
9. How to be body confident
How we see ourselves is far more important than how others view us, which is why our self-esteem is one of the best beauty boosters out there!
The simplest way to do this is to work that mirror; look at your body and tell yourself what you like best about it. And, once you've established this, work on making the most of your favourite assets.
Also, make sure that you feel good in your clothes; if there's anything you own which makes you feel self-conscious, it's not worth keeping. Bag yourself something that makes you look and feel 100% foxy!
And, finally, consider your whole self and not just the physical you... you don't see your friends for the size of their thighs or noses, do you? Make sure to look beyond your body.
10. How to choose the right foundationBefore you hit the shops crying out for a new foundation, you need to find out your skin type; is your face oily, dry or a mix of both? If you are acne-prone, go for a product with salicylic acid to zap zits and if your skin is dry, choose a foundation with a moisturising formula.
Next, consider if you want a light or medium-coverage. When you actually test foundations apply the three swatches of the shades closest to your own skin tone from your lower cheek down to below your jaw line. Then check in the daylight which shade is the closest to your natural tone, or falls between the lightest and darkest tones in your skin. The shade that disappears the most is your best match. And don't forget that foundation is completely optional; if you have clear skin, you can just use it on the parts of your face that need it (blend well) or skip it completely!
Condoms are the most effective way to protect yourself during sex... but only if you know how to put one on! It's pretty simple; open the wrapper, taking care not to rip or damage the condom. Pinch the end (to squeeze the air out) and pop onto the tip of the penis. Make sure you get the condom the correct way round as it only rolls one way.
Firmly slide your fingers down the shaft to unroll the condom all the way to the bottom. Make sure that it’s a snug fit so that no fluid will escape or get in. Yup, that's pretty much it. The different options and flavours are a complete personal preference, so we'll leave that up to you.
12. How to ace a job interview
The easiest piece of advice here is preparation! Read up on the company, prepare your answers, plan some intuitive questions (not "how much will I be paid"?) and lay out your outfit the night before.
Plan to leave so that you'll arrive in the area at least thirty minutes early, just in case of any delays or mishaps along the way. Once inside, stay calm and remember your own worth; sell yourself! You know you'll be good at this job so make sure they know it too.
And, finally, don't panic if you're unable to answer a question. It's okay to say "Sorry, I don't know the answer to that," but demonstrate your confidence and willingness to continue talking by moving onto a different subject. Never make up an answer to something you know nothing about.
13. How to travel light
Shelly Vella, Cosmo’s Fashion Director, recommends that you base your luggage on five key looks, accessorising your capsule wardrobe to make sure that you can wear key colour-coordinated pieces in a variety of ultra-stylish ways.
First of all, buy a clear plastic pouch and travel bottles to decant your beauty products (being able to see through it will stop you adding extras and let you know you have exactly what you need).
Secondly, every girl knows that an outfit works around her shoes; for a beach holiday, build around one pair of flip flops and one pair of something glossier, be it heels or sparkly flats.
For the city breaks, team a sexy pair of heels with tried and trusted flats and a pair of cool boots for dressed down Houlihan chic. Next up, invest in a jewellery roll and style up your looks and then tuck it safely into the clear pouch - it's a far less bulky way to carry jewellery! Minimal chic, sorted.
14. How to apply self-tan
Planning on faking it? The basis of a good self tan is good skin so exfoliate and moisturise your skin, particularly around dry spots such as knees and elbows. Next, apply the self-tan. Tip: Don’t rub it in, as this can cause streaks.
Instead, smooth it on gently then five minutes after application, use damp hands over the tanned areas to blend colour evenly. For a streak-free tan, use a mitten or tanning gloves to apply it and make sure to exfoliate again three days after application, to make sure it fades evenly and, if you want, re-apply to build up your colour!
15. How to be alone
The relationship you want to be the best in your life is the one you have with yourself; no curfews, no rules, no apologies! Work out what makes you happy and make sure you get it. Whether it's taking time out to take the trip you've always wanted, learn a new language or treat yourself to luxurious bubble bath, make sure you have the time to do it. If that means turning down a few party invites, so be it; making yourself unavailable will ultimately push your social worth way up the scale!
16. How to find the best jeans
Time to do the Jean Genie, denim has the power to give you a peachy bum, fill gaps in your wardrobe and take you from day to night - it's just a matter of getting the right shape for you. If you’re struggling with boot-leg v skinny, high-waisted v low slung, our advice is to defer to the experts.
Gap, Dorothy Perkins and Levi’s all have style advisor services in store. Net-a-porter.com and my-wardrobe.com have personal styling services for denim if your budget allows. They will work out the best jeans options for your figure and believe us, once you’ve found your perfect skinnies you’ll never look back!
17. How to do CPR
Hopefully, this situation will never come up but, when it does, it's much better to be prepared. First up, attempt to wake up the person. If they're not breathing (or just gasping for breath), call 999 immediately and begin chest compressions.
To do this, place the heel of your hand in the middle of his chest. Put your other hand on top of the first with your fingers interlaced. Compress the chest at least 2 inches (4-5 cm).
Allow the chest to completely recoil before the next compression. Compress the chest at a rate of at least 100 pushes per minute. Perform 30 compressions at this rate (should take you about 18 seconds).
Now open the person's airway by tilting their head and lifting their chin. Pinch their nose and make a seal over their mouth with yours, before giving them a breath big enough to make the chest rise. Let the chest fall, then repeat the rescue breath once more. If you don't feel comfortable with this, just continue with chest compressions and wait for assistance.
Hopefully, this situation will never come up but, when it does, it's much better to be prepared. First up, attempt to wake up the person. If they're not breathing (or just gasping for breath), call 999 immediately and begin chest compressions.
To do this, place the heel of your hand in the middle of his chest. Put your other hand on top of the first with your fingers interlaced. Compress the chest at least 2 inches (4-5 cm).
Allow the chest to completely recoil before the next compression. Compress the chest at a rate of at least 100 pushes per minute. Perform 30 compressions at this rate (should take you about 18 seconds).
Now open the person's airway by tilting their head and lifting their chin. Pinch their nose and make a seal over their mouth with yours, before giving them a breath big enough to make the chest rise. Let the chest fall, then repeat the rescue breath once more. If you don't feel comfortable with this, just continue with chest compressions and wait for assistance.
Otherwise, keep repeating thirty compressions with two breaths until an ambulance arrives. Brush up on these skills and you may just save a life.
18. How to manage your money
Money worries driving you mad? Use a budget. The simplest solution is to sort out a plan way ahead of schedule; work out your monthly income, set it against all your outgoings and have a look at what's left over. 18. How to manage your money
Keep a little aside for treating yourself and put the rest into a tax-free Cash ISA; that should help curb the temptation to spend! Plus, if possible, try to take out your weekly expenses in cash on a Monday and stick to what you've got; it's all too easy to go over budget when you use your plastic for everything. Seeing the physical cash will help you keep a track of your spending.
19. How not to apologise for everything
Saying sorry when something is your fault is fine. More than fine, actually, it's definitely the way to handle the situation. However, when things aren't your fault, bite down that auto-apology. Firstly, it'll make you feel resentful and irritated. Secondly, it'll devalue the worth of an apology when you actually mean it. Take a look at the situation, assess who's at fault and act accordingly. Don't be volatile; try saying something like "I'm sorry you feel that way", which shows your concern without making you a doormat.
20. How to organise a hen party
If you’re bestowed the honour of being maid of honour the pressure is on to throw the perfect hen. First, don’t feel you have to dedicate a whole week's holiday to hen party frolics - Mediterranean mini-break, spa trip and swanky club... for one bride?
Just choose one and work on making that the best night ever of her single life. Second, plan the guest list early and, if possible, consult with the bride; forgetting somebody vital is not an option.
Third, add some personal touches; we've all seen the stripper and the L Plates before, so what about a scrapbook of relationships past? Or stories told about the happy couple?
Finally, have fun and don't get overloaded. It's a party, not a war; relax and enjoy being the hostess with the mostess. When else can you give sex toys as gifts, after all?
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