Friday, August 3, 2012

Love your whole life


We often confuse emotional well-being with happiness. Being content and at peace with yourself goes beyond happiness, which may at times, be fleeting. On the other hand, in the annals of psychology, emotional well-being demands certain behavioural attributes: flexibility, coping skills, control over your life, a constructive direction and inter-personal skills. Here, experts identify how you can work towards achieving this.


1. HAVE A CLOSE FRIEND

Friendship is one among the foremost casualties of your stressful life as an adult. So go back and search for that close pal from your long list of FB friends and get in touch. (See Five Friends Every Woman Needs) 
HOW FRIENDSHIP HELPS 

A ing friendship rests on the foundation of intimacy, trust, security, equality and reciprocity-all of which foster satisfaction, an essential element of well-being. Friends help you evolve as a human being and assure you that there will be somebody to hold on to in the hour of need. This encourages you to take chances in life and achieve greater success. "A close friendship buffers you against crises and helps you bounce back," says Dr Seema Mehrotra, additional professor & in-charge, Positive Psychology Unit, Clinical Psychology Department, NIMHANS, Bengaluru. Psychiatrists associate friendship with happiness, because it meets our demand for affiliation. "Friends give you a sense of self-worth and boost your self-esteem," says Dr Bhavna Barmi, consultant, clinical psychology at Delhi's Fortis Escorts Heart Institute. Your close pals boost your health too. According to a study in PLoS Medicine, the benefit of friends, family and even colleagues is just as good for long-term survival as giving up a 15-cigarette-aday smoking habit.

INCREASE YOUR FRIENDSHIP QUOTIENT 

The first measure of your friendship quotient is your ability to accept human follies. Next comes loyalty and sustainability. Also, you need to develop certain social skills, like keeping in touch and sharing emotions to develop a close relationship. "Make sure that you listen to your friend patiently, respect boundaries and allow space," says Dr J Ram, consultant, clinical psychiatrist, Apollo Gleanagles, Kolkata.

2.- BE EMPATHETIC 

'Put yourself in the other person's shoes' is advice that all of us have come across at some point in our lives. To put it simply, this is what empathy is all about. In the language of psychology, empathy is the ability to recognise the thoughts and emotions of another conscious being. "Concern, sensitivity and care are in-built in the concept of empathy," says Delhi-based clinical psychiatrist Dr Sameer Malhotra. Empathy is actually rooted in our survival instinct from the times of hunter-gatherers when our survival, to a large extent, depended on our ability to empathise with and cater to others' needs. Hold on to your empathetic streak, it's an essential cognitive ability.

HOW EMPATHY HELPS 

We still operate in tribes in a larger and more complex sense of the term. So the role of empathy, not only for survival, but also for a sense of fulfillment is undeniable. "This is because we, as socialised creatures, crave for a sense of belonging and empathy helps us find it by promoting interpersonal bonding," explains Malhotra. According to empathy experts, at a higher level, empathy transcends from being aware of others' thoughts and feelings to actually experiencing their situation as if it were our own. This fosters a sense of intense connection and close ties, essential for emotional well-being. Moreover, research shows that people who show kindness and gratitude towards others are happier than those who don't. Being able to share another person's perspective can also lead to a deeper insight into life that would not have been possible if we remained confined to ourselves only.

INCREASE YOUR EMPATHY QUOTIENT 

Learn to observe quietly. This will give you a greater capability to peek into others' thought processes. Read fiction. A University of Buffalo study found that participants identified themselves with the characters in the fiction they read. Getting absorbed in another's life story strengthens the connections between your cognitive and emotional brain, thus boosting empathy.

3. BE CREATIVE

Remember those days when you painted handmade cards or wrote a small poem for the school magazine? How those acts of creativity filled you up with euphoria? Get in touch with that child in you.

HOW CREATIVITY HELPS 

"Creative activity that taps into your creative elements, helps you disengage from the monotony of daily life and fills you up with a sense of accomplishment," explains Dr Rajashekar Reddi, Prevention advisor and senior consultant, neurology, Max Healthcare, New Delhi. Not only does creativity boost emotional well-being, even viewing a creative piece yields positive emotions. According to a London University study, viewing a work of art raises the levels of dopamine-a neurotransmitter that controls the brain's reward and pleasure centres. "Creativity is the source of novel ideas, which give you easy solutions to many everyday problems. Thus you can lead a successful life," says Dr Pranjali Pradhan, cognitive neuropsychiatrist, KEM Hospital, Mumbai.

INCREASE YOUR CREATIVE QUOTIENT 

Albert Einstein said of the theory of relativity, "I thought of it while riding my bicycle." Various studies reveal that aerobic activities give you cognitive flexibility and help you access insights that might be out of your reach when you are sedentary. So slip on your walking shoes every day. "Keep your mind sharp by challenging your brain. Solve puzzles, keep a hobby and try to pick up new sets of skills," says Pradhan. And learn to think out of the box. Try to link unrelated subjects which will in turn spark a different thinking pattern.

4.- BE RESILIENT 

"Resilience is accepting your new reality, even if it's less good than the one you had before."-Elizabeth Edwards, American author. Don't give in to failures, rise each time you fall.

HOW RESILIENCE HELPS 

"A strong resilient streak helps you bounce back from a crisis, which is a fundamental attribute of successful living," says Mehrotra. "Your emotional well-being, to a large extent, is determined by your capability to be in control of your own life and resilience helps you achive that," reiterates Dr Vivek Benegal, professor of psychology, NIMHANS, Bengaluru. Research also shows that resilience protects against (and reverses) depression, anxiety, fear and helplessness.

INCREASE YOUR RESILIENCE QUOTIENT 

Find some lesson in every adversity. Being hopeful is another way of combating a challenge. Resolve to be happy even in moments of utter despair. Train your brain to see half full, rather than half empty. Learn to accept changes.

5.- BALANCE YOUR EMOTIONS 

We've often heard that old adage about how too much or too little of anything is bad. It's no different when it comes to your emotions. Overwhelming emotions can be the root of problems in your functional life, affecting both your work and relationships. Though easier said than done, try and make special efforts to regulate your emotions better.

HOW BALANCE HELPS 

The best gift of balanced emotions is stability, an intrinsic property of your emotional well-being. The key to balanced emotions is your ability to regulate your emotions. A study named Anger in the Age of Entitlement Research reveals that selfregulation is necessary for emotional well-being. Your self-regulation skills will enable you to keep you calm in a stressful situation and boost your decision-making capacity.

INCREASE YOUR BALANCE QUOTIENT 

"The first step is to recognise and admit to yourself that your emotions need regulation," says Benegal. Practise mind-body techniques like yoga regularly. It is the sure-shot way to develop emotional equilibrium. Get seven to eight hours of sleep every night. According to a study in Current Biology, rapid eye movement sleep, a phase in your sleep cycle, facilitates emotional regulation. Work your willpower muscle if you really want to take stock of your emotions. Give positive autosuggestions to yourself every day, 'I can. I will never let my emotions take over my rationality.' Be flexible. Flexibility broadens your mind and and makes you more accepting of others' views, boosts your reasoning and sharpens your judgement skills. All these work together to give you better control over your emotions.

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